Marriage: 6 Commitments-Lesson 15 "Amazing Grace" and "Before Dark"

Housekeeping

-UnDeck The Halls Saturday the 8th at 9am

-Sunday Nights Start Up Again beginning the 9th at 5:30-6:30pm

-Pastor’s Bible Study Miller Hall

-EHBC KIDS Face2Face Nursery and 217

-EHBC Student Ministry at the Clark’s Casa

-And any other Small Group Bible Studies that would like to meet

-Men’s Breakfast, Saturday the 15th in the Gym at 8am. Pastor Bill will be leading a Men’s Study and the goal is for this to turn into more than just once a month, but men meeting regularly to allow God to wrought and redirect their hearts.

-Choir Relaunch! Wednesday the 12th at 6:30pm in the Choir Room. Interested in joining the EHBC Choir…come check it out

Prayer

We will be focussing on the 5th Commitment this morning.

“We will deal with our differences with appreciation and grace.”

We will be in both chapter 13 and 14: Amazing Grace and Before Dark

So, I asked each of you to highlight each scripture reference that you came across in these two chapters first and allow God’s Spirit to speak to you through these verses.

John 1:3 “3 All things were created through him, and apart from him not one thing was created that has been created.”

Genesis 1 “1 In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2 Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness covered the surface of the watery depths, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the surface of the waters. 3 Then God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. 4 God saw that the light was good, and God separated the light from the darkness. 5 God called the light “day,” and the darkness he called “night.” There was an evening, and there was a morning: one day. 6 Then God said, “Let there be an expanse between the waters, separating water from water.” 7 So God made the expanse and separated the water under the expanse from the water above the expanse. And it was so. 8 God called the expanse “sky.” Evening came and then morning: the second day. 9 Then God said, “Let the water under the sky be gathered into one place, and let the dry land appear.” And it was so. 10 God called the dry land “earth,” and the gathering of the water he called “seas.” And God saw that it was good…”

Acts 17:24-27 “24 The God who made the world and everything in it—he is Lord of heaven and earth—does not live in shrines made by hands. 25 Neither is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives everyone life and breath and all things. 26 From one man he has made every nationality to live over the whole earth and has determined their appointed times and the boundaries of where they live. 27 He did this so that they might seek God, and perhaps they might reach out and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.”

Romans 6:1-14 “1 What should we say then? Should we continue in sin so that grace may multiply? 2 Absolutely not! How can we who died to sin still live in it? 3 Or are you unaware that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 Therefore we were buried with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we too may walk in newness of life. 5 For if we have been united with him in the likeness of his death, we will certainly also be in the likeness of his resurrection. 6 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be rendered powerless so that we may no longer be enslaved to sin, 7 since a person who has died is freed from sin. 8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him, 9 because we know that Christ, having been raised from the dead, will not die again. Death no longer rules over him. 10 For the death he died, he died to sin onc…”

Romans 5 “1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 We have also obtained access through him by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also boast in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, 4 endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. 5 This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. 6 For while we were still helpless, at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For rarely will someone die for a just person—though for a good person perhaps someone might even dare to die. 8 But God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 How much more then, since we have now been justified by his blood, will we be saved through him from wrath. 10 For if, while we were enemies, we wer…”

James 1 “1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ: To the twelve tribes dispersed abroad. Greetings. 2 Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4 And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing. 5 Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God—who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly—and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith without doubting. For the doubter is like the surging sea, driven and tossed by the wind. 7 That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord, 8 being double-minded and unstable in all his ways. 9 Let the brother of humble circumstances boast in his exaltation, 10 but let the rich boast in his humiliation because he will pass away like a flower of the field. 11 For the sun rises and, together with the scorching wind, dries up the grass; its flower falls off, and…”

1 Peter 1 “1 Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ: To those chosen, living as exiles dispersed abroad in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadocia, Asia, and Bithynia, chosen 2 according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through the sanctifying work of the Spirit, to be obedient and to be sprinkled with the blood of Jesus Christ. May grace and peace be multiplied to you. 3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Because of his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead 4 and into an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you. 5 You are being guarded by God’s power through faith for a salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 You rejoice in this, even though now for a short time, if necessary, you suffer grief in various trials 7 so that the proven character of your faith—more valuable than gold which, though perishable, is refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, a…”

Acts 17:27 “27 He did this so that they might seek God, and perhaps they might reach out and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.”

Ephesians 4:26-27 “26 Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and don’t give the devil an opportunity.”

Ephesians 4:29 “29 No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.”

Did any of want to share first if any of those spoke in such a way as it also follows this Commitment “We will deal with our differences with appreciation and grace.”

Let’s ask the first question...

“What were some of the first differences between you and your spouse that you noticed?”

“What has caused the most friction?”

“Now, what differences have you come to appreciate the most?”

** “Unity is the result of what Husbands and Wife do in the face of the inevitable differences that exist in the lives of every married couple.” **

Tripp’s Suggestions (page 235)

-Celebrate Your Creator

-Refuse to See the Differences as Right or Wrong

-Determine to Respond To Your Differences with Appreciation and Respect

-Learn Where Your Differences Create Difficulty and Call Yourself to Unification

-Admit Where These Differences Challenge You to Grow

CELEBRATE-REFUSE-DETERMINE-LEARN-ADMIT

A Biblical Plan (page 238)

God is in absolute control of the details of our lives

Acts 17:24-27 “24 The God who made the world and everything in it—he is Lord of heaven and earth—does not live in shrines made by hands. 25 Neither is he served by human hands, as though he needed anything, since he himself gives everyone life and breath and all things. 26 From one man he has made every nationality to live over the whole earth and has determined their appointed times and the boundaries of where they live. 27 He did this so that they might seek God, and perhaps they might reach out and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.”

2. He has a purpose for the situations and locations in which he places us.

Romans 6:1-14 “1 What should we say then? Should we continue in sin so that grace may multiply? 2 Absolutely not! How can we who died to sin still live in it? 3 Or are you unaware that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? 4 Therefore we were buried with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so we too may walk in newness of life. 5 For if we have been united with him in the likeness of his death, we will certainly also be in the likeness of his resurrection. 6 For we know that our old self was crucified with him so that the body ruled by sin might be rendered powerless so that we may no longer be enslaved to sin, 7 since a person who has died is freed from sin. 8 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him, 9 because we know that Christ, having been raised from the dead, will not die again. Death no longer rules over him. 10 For the death he died, he died to sin onc…”

3. Marriage is one of God’s Primary tools of personal change and growth.

4. Three main tools of difference are used to reveal and change our hearts.

-Difference in personal hardwiring by God’s Hand

-Difference in viewpoints, instincts, and tastes that have been formed in us and through us.

-Difference in personal sin and weakness and in our growth in grace.

5. Change begins when we see these differences as Grace rather than obstructions of Grace.

6. God is with you in your struggle.

Acts 17:27 “27 He did this so that they might seek God, and perhaps they might reach out and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.”

As we close out chapter 13 and continue in 14, let me ask this question:

“What is one way you can CELEBRATE the differences between you and your spouse this week?” or better yet...

“What would it look like for you to view your marriage struggles as a part of God’s plan and a sign of His Grace rather than an interruption of His plan as an obstacle to grace?”

“How would that impact your daily life as a couple?”

Now onto chapter 14…This is more of a reality check than anything else...

We now need to face reality and speak life into the annoyance that plagues your marriage.

We will not speak it out now; however, we just spent time addressing our heart condition and recognizing the grace that must flow.

However, what usually happens is that we have not dealt with the Foxes in our Vineyards.

Song of Song 2:15

Song of Solomon 2:15 CSB

15 Catch the foxes for us— the little foxes that ruin the vineyards— for our vineyards are in bloom.

We have to face reality and deal with the differences before they become out of control selfish darkness in our hearts and marriages. We need to be fox hunters.

What are Foxes?

-Foxes: Evil, Destruction, Sneaky and Poisonous Problems

Question:

"How do we deal with the "Foxes" in our marriage?"

Full Netting

1. Prevention is better than extermination

-Discuss your differences with one another

-Boundaries, Honesty, Humility and Grace!!

Permit to Hunt

2. Defeat your problems together before they defeat you.

-Remember: you are teammates not opponents

-Regardless of what those differences might be, you must make every effort to hunt those "foxes" together.

-Ephesians 4:26,27

"Be angry and do not sin. Don't let the sun go down on your anger, and don't give the Devil an opportunity (foothold)."

**Unsolved issues in your marriage are an open door for Satan and left unsolved are an open wound for infection.**

**The longer the "fox" dwells in your orchard, the deeper the foothold of Satan.**

John Owen said: "Be killing Sin or it will be killing you!"

Remove the Carcasses

3.Don't let the skeletons of the "foxes" pile up

-Quit bringing up the past!

-If forgiveness was given, then remove the carcass and move on.

**Be obedient towards Biblical Forgiveness**

1 John 1:5-10

"5 This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. 6 So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. 7 But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin.

8 If we claim we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and not living in the truth. 9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts."

Sometimes the hardest forgiveness is towards ourself.

-Repent and move forward

Notice the words "little foxes"

-Deal with our sin before it grows

-James 1:13-15

"13 And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. 14 Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. 15 These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death."

Tripp gives us his Seven Points when Dealing with Reality

Face Reality

Deal Honestly with Your Anger

Communicate in Ways That Are Wholesome

Run to Your Resources

Resist the Lies of the Enemy

Create Something New

Humbly Admit Your Ongoing Struggle

Let’s close with this...

On page 259, Tripp closes with this, “Your hope of a long-term, loving marriage is found in one place—God’s love for you.”

On a practical level, do you live like this is true?

How could you change your words and habits so that you are truly relying on God’s love to transform your marriage?

Romans 5:1–11 CSB

1 Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 We have also obtained access through him by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also boast in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, 4 endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. 5 This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. 6 For while we were still helpless, at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly. 7 For rarely will someone die for a just person—though for a good person perhaps someone might even dare to die. 8 But God proves his own love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 9 How much more then, since we have now been justified by his blood, will we be saved through him from wrath. 10 For if, while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son, then how much more, having been reconciled, will we be saved by his life. 11 And not only that, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received this reconciliation.

Again, do you live like that is true?

Let’s pray.

Pray

In Closing

For next Sunday, the 9th, please read both Chapter 15 “Eyes Wide Open” and Chapter 16 “On Your Knees.” We will then cover both chapters as we reveal the 6th and final Commitment “We will work to protect our marriage.”